i believe in miracles, but this evening while i was challenged with the the fact that i don’t know if i expect them. i believe God can heal people – i believe that life itself is a miracle and anything that happens to keep it going is miraculous. but i’m talking about the kind of miracles that defy what is expected, where there can be no denying that something beyond human understanding or manipulation happened, where no one here on earth can take credit – that kind of miracle. i believe that happens. i hear stories of people suddenly being cured of cancer, surviving impossible odds and i think – how amazing must it be to be that person or that family. to realize that beyond a shadow of a doubt – you are supposed to be here.
here’s what i also know – we are all supposed to be here, regardless of whether or not we think that someone went out of their way to keep us here. the fact that we are still here means we have a purpose. and the bigger thing is that God does have the ability to perform a healing that defies medical logic. i believe it for other people – but can i ask for it for my family?
i realized this weekend that the most i had asked God for was guidence, wisdom, good doctors, little pain – all of those things. i also know that His grace is sufficient and if that is what He provides – it is more than enough. but He can and does suddenly heal people. i think i didn’t ask because i was afraid He would say ‘no’ and that would feel like defeat or like it was a silly thing to ask.
so it seems easy – now that i’ve realized this fact, just ask God to heal my mom and then i’ve asked for a miracle. but for some reason, it’s not that easy. i think its not that easy because i wonder in my heart of hearts do i really expect Him to do it? i think i’m getting there where – to the place where i not only know that God can do it but i believe that He would do it.
